Tuesday, August 08, 2006

 
Television is crap here - but then the b*stards go and launch new telly channels (just in time to mess up hang-over recovery days)!

Sunday and last night I was to have an early night. I was to do this because living in England as I do, I spent the weekend celebrating what is known as "the birthday weekend" of a friend of mine who just turned 30. Two extravagant nights of boozing where you don't even manage the feeble "never again" at the end!!!

For our first night out we had Italian at a restaurant where it was like having dinner in a wood paneled garage (wood paneled should be obvious - garage because I have never seen so much Ferrari kit anywhere BUT a garage before!) being served by an Italian version of Manuel of Fawlty Towers fame: but with John Clease's sarcastic humour:
"Can I have another bottle of Val Pol please"
"No"
"No?"
"Last bottle, but I bring you something nice..."

Then on we went over the lovely Welsh Bridge (I think...) to have a drink - gins and tonics and not an "a drink" in sight...Next morning and one gallon of tea later...

Night two was more of the same except less food, more shots and mojitos being had by the gallon...

So Sunday after driving back down from picturesque Shrewsbury (and snoozing in the car to the extreme discomfort of my neck) we arrived home to take up the fetal position on the couch...And bloody telly was unpredictably good! So we watched the Godfather...And then bloody telly last night...GOOD AGAIN: Shawshank Redemption...What next...Cancellation of Big Brother!? Actual return of good comedy to British telly...Tonight will have to be an early night - I need to recover from my shock!!!! Although The Green Mile is on...So I will have to see... :::muttering::: evil sleep depriving b*stards at Film Four!!

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

 
I'll admit it...I love to watch DIY shows...All sorts - the fix-up your house variety, the detox your finances type, the rework your wardrobe ones, the fix your relationship with your dog or children kind...But most of all I love the ones where they help you fix your diet, get a healthier lifestyle and loose weight.

This interest probably stems from the fact that until recently I was overweight. I go to the gym and have cut out things I love in order to drop two dress sizes. Or it could be the whole "Who doesn't love a road side crash to entertain on the road of life?" deal.

Living in the UK - land of the DIY show I have a variety of these health gurus to pick from...My favorite by far is a woman called Gillian McKeith. A snarky, skinny, Scottish lady (who luckily has a new stylist team this season - she looked like a bad advertisement for her own diet plans) who has a segment of her show looking at her guests pooh.


The Skinny Scot Herself

Now I am as scatalogically inclined as the next person but this woman goes all out - her guests deliver their offerings for her examination in Rubbermaid containers. She opens it up (all very scientifically with gloves and all) and then devotes a portion of every show to describing her "findings" regarding their efforts. Finally, she explains what she reckons the contents means about how they eat.

As a loyal viewer I have long been puzzled by the persistent lack of a "perfect pooh" reference guide on her show. This has had me in the loo over the last year wondering if my poohs measure up...Is my texture good...Is it the right colour and consistency?

Halleluyiah...Last night on her Christmas Detox episode it all became clear as it were - grossly and intimately clear...But finally I know what I should be aiming for!

Sadly, I didn't write the results down (they don't appear on her link) so all I am left with is: log, medium brown, not smelly and no undigested food...(stay tuned for updates)!

But well done her...She is the only person apart from my Mother to have entered my brain so absolutely and programmed me - today while browsing the sandwich section at M&S Food I rejected a sandwich (though very tempting) because the bread was white and am now strongly considering writing a letter of complaint to M&S regarding the fact that they only do tuna with sweetcorn (which I hate) on brown.

So a salad, some natural low-fat healthy bacteria yoghurt and roasted almonds later I am eating my lunch. If good old Gil can only give us a guide to reading the "Nutritional Information" found on the packets I'll die happy (and hopefully after producing the perfect pooh)!

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